I just wanted that little bit of appreciation from you. Not just words. I just wanted to feel loved, knowing that you love me because of some things. Knowing what you love about me, knowing what I am to you. But..

我感觉不到。

两年多了。这两年我只知道你不喜欢我的很多的不好。还有你很多的不喜欢。我根本不知道我的重要。 两年，我只知道我对你的感觉还比你深。

I can't feel that love from you. I don't know at all, what you loved about me, or if you really love me. So much things about me you hate, you disapprove, you don't like. Almost 90% of me, you hate. At least that's what makes me feel from you. I can't feeling anything else from you. I've always been waiting for you, whatever you do, wherever you are. Even if we only have less than 10 significant memories together. It doesn't matter. I just wanted to know.. where I really am in your heart. What am I really to you. You always telling many many things, but many of these were never really true.

You always have so much complains about me, but what are the things that you love about me? Hate more than love, I guess, it's what I feel from you.. Always getting mad at everything.. I don't know what about me that is really dear to you.

Most of the time, I'm always sitting alone, waiting for you. Waiting for you to look at me a little bit more. Wishing how you would feel the moments were precious and treasured. & Feels how some times, what you do were half-hearted, and wish could end it soon, when with me.

All I wanted is for you to look at me more, look at me closely a little bit more.. but it seems further than I thought since more than a year ago. I get upset when I feel not important or appreciated. I feel more and more discouraged, I feel more and more useless.. You know.. Everyone needs some encouragement.. Just like you.. You need that too.. if everyone at work always discourage you without you knowing they actually were trying to push you, all the time.. how would you feel.. when you're home, me or your family does that too. How would you feel..

Why can't you ever love me properly. Why do you only listen to your own opinions and not even bothered to consider some of my views some times..? When things happen.. you gave yourself more issue, and some times I have to help to cover things as much as I can. When all these could be avoided.. Why don't you ever see it..

19 Sep 2013

有时候。。 当一段感情走久了。。 会变。。当初的那一种温然会渐渐的。。。disappear？ 那一种快乐。。想起那是后的我们。。我比较开心。没车，没这种忙到连message都快要看不到的地点。。我比较喜欢那时没钱的小小幸福。忙了，反而只会弄到彼此心情跟不好。就因为，为了catch up society 让未来比较舒服，弄到彼此这样子。那一个温热在哪了？

11 Sep 2013

Been almost 2 months since I started working. We've both been busy. And I thought things might be going some what better and all... But ..

So the clock have strike 12 and it's my 21st Birthday. Nothing extravagant, nothing loud, nothing wild. Just a simple dinner and Baby, his mom, and his Sis, and a little game at Safra Jurong. But most important of all, I am very happy, to be with my loved one.

We're poor, we're walking on a thin ice now. But I'm extremely happy, that I know he is there, and making it special for me. Making the effort to bring me to have some good Dim Sum at 126 and surprised me with a cake. I'm happy, that he is there, and my lovely sister, Jasmine, was there when the cake appeared. Thank you everyone. Thank you my Dearest sweetheart, and my Dearest sister, his friends and his mom & sis.

It's a rough semester for me, I have FYP (Final Year Project) going on, and I couldn't really celebrate, but I'm fine with it. As long as I have my husband to be, there for me (:

I love you Baby boy.

It has been long!

Hi! It has been really long since I last wrote a post.

Just awhile ago, I was doing some slides for tmr presentation, and was calculating money after that. Recently, sweetheart chow's car has been damaged (at the time when both of us are broke). He has been extremely upset and stressful ( with car & finance ). My heart sank when he knocked his car by the curb in the carpark too..

So anyway... I agreed to pay half of the maintenance fee. I thought I should have enough. But I was wrong. I had to take 70% from my allowance to cover the amount I promised him to pay. But well, I guess it's alright. Just take it as a training to train myself to spend less money! :D I just hope he gets better somehow. I wish I'm working now. So I could give a hand to him... It's at times like this when I feel really hopeless. Like.. This amount of money which mean a lot to me, mean nothing at all to the people working alrdy. Sigh. I hoped I could help out somehow.

For now, I'll just have to do my best.. & hurry help him lessen his burden..