Never wished to be this sick and tired. I'm not exactly extremely sick, but it's making me very uncomfortable, disrupting me from doing my work and chores. (Least I did managed to wash my clothes and packed my room)
Ever wonder if you'll fear when you realised you fell deep in love? Well, I did. I am. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Afraid of how all the histories will repeat. Afraid of how it will turn out. And what if it falls apart? I don't wanna go through the sickening period of falling out of love. It's too painful for my heart to take these sort of impact another time.
But right now, everything seems great.................."Will this be only the beginning?" I wonder. Cos that is THE PATTERN of a relationship, right? Maybe I'm being too paranoid, or I had fucked experiences, but these are what I've seen from my experiences. Should I or should I not be afraid. I don't want to be like this all the time. Cos I'll be dragging him down as well... But, how do I even overcome these thoughts, these feelings? How?
I'm hungry, and sick.
I need some food. Yes, my stomach has been empty the whole day.
Goodnight.
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