(A very boring post. Don't bother reading this please. Skip this post.)
School was a hassle. Gotta make myself go to school just to keep my attendance perfect. I don't know what are vacation modules for when there ain't any lecture. And it freaking cost 200bucks?! For 5 days, all I did there, was hanging around for like an hour, and did some research & left the class. That's how boring it is. (Realizing that my macbook wasn't of much use; I could have done it at home instead.)
& to be honest, I haven't been really productive. Probably lost my momentum. I've been sick these 2 days, consuming lots of pills so I could stay awake and less lifeless. (Glad that I'm feeling a lot better)
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Friday - doesn't feel like a Friday. I woke up feeling all so heavy in the head. Dragging myself to get prepared for school, and made myself glued to the seat for at least an hour, and went to Cityhall. Got myself 2 drinks at Dessert Cup (Cherry blossom & Yuzu something with milk) while waiting for my friend. I told myself to at least finish up .. maybe 2 sketches of illustrations? But I just can't think of anything right now. (As I'm typing this entry, I realize it ain't really an entry. Very very boring =.=) So instead, I ended up waiting for my friend to do her revision, while I'm sitting here getting this entry done.
Yesterday, I received a call. A surprise call. I don't know what was I feeling. Happy? Annoyed? Disappointed? Hopeful? Rubbish yeah. It's wrong for me to have any of these emotions right now. Have I stepped forward? I believe I'm half way there. Or almost there.. I should be happy that things are over. I should be happy that I'm given so much more freedom right now, and not being tied down. So why am I still feeling confused some times? I should be happy, that I found myself back. That's why I don't wanna move on to a new one so quickly. I want time. & I need to find peace within myself first.
People of 2 different worlds can't get along. I doubted that. But now I think it makes a lot of sense. So I should stop harboring on it. Cos I don't live for anyone. I'm the lead role in my life. So why should anyone have the right to destroy it, and make me feel miserable. But still, I've gotta thank you for bringing me so much beautiful things in life. Things that I've never seen, and experience. Thanks for this experience. But it's enough. I'm happier this way. We gotta move.
Many people ask me, "Hey, what happened to you?" What happened to me??? Nothing. I'm just exhausted. But trust me, I'm doing so much better now. If you think I've changed, no, I'm still me. Just that I allowed something slightly bad in. But that does not change a person, right? How much can one change, seriously? Everything went downhill recently. I just needed something to bring myself back up. That's all. Don't read too far yeah.
I've been here all along. And I've been the only one here. But one day, I'll be gone. It'll all be to late when you realize that.
Actually, I've moved.
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