To my dearest.

I will never let this happen again. I really love you, and I never want us to be apart. I will never wanna do anything that will upset you again. It hurts. I love you a lot a lot.

I know you don't need me anymore.. Cos I'm a bitch, I'm a slut..

I didn't want to speak.. I didn't want to look at you.. Cos I know I will cry.. I don't wanna cry in front you

A part of me wanted to give up on myself, a part of me..... Can't leave my family like this

Smth

Since the previous relationship ended, I've never thought I would ever love again. I didn't want to love, I hated love. And I gave up on everything. Including myself.

& you appeared. I pushed you away, I hurt you. And anything that made you sad. But you never gave up on me. You cheered me on each time, and held me up when I fall. You were never my type & I thought I could have you as a friend instead. But as time passes by, i realised you were the only one who appreciated me, and accepted me. You were the only one who never fail to stand by me. For the past 7 years, all I know of love was to only love and won't expect to receive. All the experiences I had only brought me pain and tears. But you're the only different one.

You were the opposite of all them. We lead a different lifestyle, but you love me, they didn't. You gave me a whole new reason to love & trust again. Thank you for walking into my life.. (:


I know you will never be like them.
<3 you.

Sick

One of the most unlucky problem you could ever encounter is to be down with an urine infection on the last day of lecturer consultation for your final sem project. Can't make it to school and yet I have to get all my materials by today. I hate infections, it gives you a lot a lot of problem. Ugh

Tell me what should I do if he walks out of my life.

Many a times when incident occur, it's always because of me. I feel so guilty about it, & it really hurt me so bad. I don't want this to be the 2nd time I'm regretting. And if things were to happen, I'll be the reason for it. Cos it always seems like the case.

I'm not a human at all. How can be like this, when a life is already on the line. Someone who cares the most about me, who dotes me the most. Am I still a human. Why am I so heartless. Have you ever seen anyone, already seems like their last breath, with their eyes clothes, fighting their very best to be "awake" and yet calling out for you?

I know, I'm really a bad daughter, I really do not know how to face you some times. Cos I'm very guilty about how I have made you felt. How I have made you cried and faint like this.

我不想在哭了。

跟我在一起真的那么辛苦吗。 你会后悔吗？你会不会有一天放弃我。如果有那么一天，那我应该提放吗。我不想在会有不想活的态度对待生活。因为我根本没勇气也没信心。我的生活，老实说我很早就放弃了。只是在勉强的拼。

我还能说什么？ 笑吧。

在爱情里，单单的爱是不够的。
在家庭里，单单的爱也是不够的。
在友情里，单单的信任是不够的。

做人真烦。做人很麻烦。做人很累。

有时候真的会希望睡了就不在也会醒来。。。

Maybe it's just my thinking.

I thought we're one of the best, but actually, we're far from it.


Should I or not.................................................. God I need an answer from you.

Special Someone

I'll never wanna let you go. For you have played one of the biggest part in my life. I'm so happy to have met you. Thanks for everything and I'll be looking forward to the day you place a ring in my finger (: love you my dearest dragon.

Banana Day

不知道為甚麼心那麼沈重。也許是不夠休息，太累了。

It's Banana Day today!Had 2 bananas myself today! Have y'all eaten any banana?

Ive been pretty tired, and somehow it feels like my body is breaking down internally. I've been feeling strengthless and breathless. Sigh, better go for a check up soon. I miss feeling well and energetic. Shall take my leave now.. Ciaos!


In the train.


Love you my dearest baby!

A sick Sunday

Never wished to be this sick and tired. I'm not exactly extremely sick, but it's making me very uncomfortable, disrupting me from doing my work and chores. (Least I did managed to wash my clothes and packed my room)

Ever wonder if you'll fear when you realised you fell deep in love? Well, I did. I am. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Afraid of how all the histories will repeat. Afraid of how it will turn out. And what if it falls apart? I don't wanna go through the sickening period of falling out of love. It's too painful for my heart to take these sort of impact another time.

But right now, everything seems great.................."Will this be only the beginning?" I wonder. Cos that is THE PATTERN of a relationship, right? Maybe I'm being too paranoid, or I had fucked experiences, but these are what I've seen from my experiences. Should I or should I not be afraid. I don't want to be like this all the time. Cos I'll be dragging him down as well... But, how do I even overcome these thoughts, these feelings? How?


I'm hungry, and sick.
I need some food. Yes, my stomach has been empty the whole day.
Goodnight.

A very long post.

2010, Orientation Day @ Nafa

 I needed to get my instruments for my school work later. I'm in need of them. It's a compulsory.. But seems like my plans for later have to be canceled. Cos I didn't have the cash to get it. AH fuck. I really don't know how am I gonna get my work done.. I did ask my dad for cash for my materials.. But I don't know.

2010

I wanted to finish up this particular module by tomorrow. Spend some time alone in the cafe (how I miss doing that) and complete them. IN THE MORNING. I gotta now think of a better solution.. >: A lot of work, yes, but I'm gonna complete 'em. I'm almost there! The only thing I'm lack of now is the environment.. I just need to make myself to go somewhere peaceful & nice with nice music... Like Mindy Glehill's. :)

FIrst week of school

Anyhoos, I'm gonna commit myself to go to gym at least once a week. Cos I realised my body hasn't been really strong since I was 16-17. I skipped napha since then because of personal reason. I had straight Golds and then.... "NIL" >: hehhh

<3

& honestly, a lot has been going through my mind... but I don't know where & how should I begin. Or should I even begin, or am I "lost" in my own train of thoughts. Like, if I even know what I'm thinking.. Well, everyone will have this state of bewilderment.

How I miss myself, my very self. The days I could do silly things and laugh like theres no tomorrow.


Fin.
 I hate periods. This groggy feeling.

我真的很想哭


快要透不过气了

I feel so angry with myself for not being able to get up on time for school. I don't know why am I feeling so tired these days despite long hours sleep some times. Alarms aren't working for me these days. Ugh, damn.
Another issue, I'm trying to think of a better solution for my personal finance and school. I can't be doing this forever, while I'm still studying. Ahh whatever. Very tired and sick today. Good bye.

I like this shirt a lot!

I'm a normal person but I think I'll soon be crazy, because your craziness is driving me insane. And that probably explains my temper and patience recently. I'm losing it. I can't be swallowing everything up for years. I love you but can you not make me hate talking to you? Can you not make me hate staying at home. Can you not make me even have the thought of giving up on my studies. Can you give me some peace and be a little more reasonable and understanding?


I've been feeling pretty tired recently. Physically and mentally.


Well, have a good day everyone! Here's another rant done in the train.

Hi, I miss you.

Today, I've decided to go far beyond myself. And be someone I'm not. Let judgments decide who I am, cos it didn't matter anymore. Least I know I'm clear of crimes. But let me screw myself up. Just this once, and I'll get back on track. Cos I'm falling right deep under and I'm giving up on myself this time.

I'm sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations, dad. Or I couldn't be what you named me as. I'm not as strong as you think I am. Today, I'll drop my mask off, and just fall. I'm sorry, but I'll get back on track some day. I ain't gonna fight anymore. Cos since I came here, I've already lost. I always thought I could fight, but I never succeed.

1,2,3,4 times. I'm as good as dead. Goodbye! See ya around some day.

When the sun decided to shine.

Another entry written on the train.

At times like this, I need god to give me answers. I need god here with me. Maybe I shouldn't have left him. Maybe god is angry with me leaving him. Is there anyway I can get a clear answer of what I'm seeking for? An answer of what I should do.

Since when have I turned into sucha person. A person with an empty head. I've asked the same question years ago, why am I brought here. Will you tell me the purpose? How many people who're dear, do I have to upset. Or am I just too not expressive. Or was it because I grew tired of being expressive because of the countless failure I get. That's not an excuse Miki.

I just don't get it. What is wrong, spending time with my family. I don't get it. Okay, it's always me. Once a bad guy, always a bad guy.

Don't try hinting. I hate hints.

Well, I've finally completed 2 sets of work. 4 + 16 more to go.Oh, & 2 more layouts. wtf never ending.

It does not matter what words that comes out from a stranger. It does not matter what others think of you. It does not matter what others think of you. As long as people who're dear, know what you are. What hurts the most, is when your actions all seemed invisible. Or when your thoughts are unheard.

Your heart is hospitalized. Doctors are looking for a cure. And as soon as the cure has been found, your heart, is running out of time. Now, how do you buy more time? Or how and where do you get a better remedy. 

God likes messing things up, or was it just fate. Why does he like to put things together nicely and then break it apart. Does he not know my story? My feelings? Dear God, don't you have any idea how much have you been spinning me around? 

I don't know why was I excited for. Going through the night, making silly things. All for the very special occasion. Now it all has put to a waste. I am upset. I have the right to be. Sad.

Well, goodnight. 

I shall numb myself today. 

What a day.

When 2 worlds collided

A lot of work needs to be done in order to achieve a smoother journey. Are feelings itself enough to resolve everything else? Was protecting a crime? Was being independent an issue too?

God's working another way for me. But I'm being haunted, & I should overcome it first.


What haunts me, made me who I am today. I should do something about it, for the current situation.


Goodnight.

Had fun driving & going to school. Missed vacation. hahhhhhhh.

It didn't hurt me, it disappoints me. To know that you're such a person. I'm always the one that picks you up when you fall. And this is the result of a person who gave her all despite how poor she is just to keep you standing.




I'm tired. I wish I have the choice to give up on life.

Everything has ended. I'm back to being a human. I'm a human now, like finally.

I'm finally on my way home now, taking this long bus ride. Despite the workload and sleepless nights, I must say I'm going to miss mugging with the girls. Good memory to keep. I wish for the next few years, we're gonna keep going on like this. How we stayed up whole night pushing one another, how we kept one another awake by being silly and stupid. All these fun and laughters are really awesome. From school to birthdays to work (:

I've finally handed in all my assignments. I may not be very pleased with my work, but least I manage to get the highest grade I could reach. Then again, it isn't about the grade here. It's about your portfolio..? whatever it is, it still suck. (staying up late till the next morning won't give you quality work)

Well I'm as free as a bird now (for the time being)!!! I'm gonna get some beauty sleep when I got home. Everywhere's aching and I feel like my body can break apart now!! ): and for the time I'm left with before school officially starts, I'm gonna make good use of the time im left with!! There's so much in the list I gotta complete before school starts!!! Hehe later!! I'm reaching homeeeee~!

Should I have known earlier, I wouldn't be drawing letters by letters. With the exact and correct measurements. Ugh. This easy yet tedious work is taking too much of my time. And I have not touch my colouring. Neither have I thought of captions for my ZO cards.

"A message that is strong enough to hit thousands" - How am I gonna do that. I can't think of any. My brain is still dead. I've already took about 5 cups of coffee today, and I'm still feeling like this. It boosted me up for a very short period of time. Gah, just pray that my body won't be immune to caffeine.  [-well, at least I'm done with designing the ZO cards. (: ]

OKAY, BE RIGHT BACK. NEED TO GET DOWN TO WORK NOW. **********


9:35am
I've more or less completed my work! Not very pleased with my work cos it looks like a very rushed work. Think I shouldn't have taken all 4 modules at a time, with 3 weeks of time to complete. Whatever it is, what's done is done. All I know of now is that I'm having a headache, and I'm wondering how am I gonna last the rest of the day. Well, let's just hope it's gonna be a really good night, and I won't be feeling all so sluggish and tired!!!

I'm thinking of taking a power nap, but I doubt I'll wake up. zz. Okay, shall go prepare for school now. Ciao

Time is ticking

Tick tock tick tock.. and then I realised I'm left with about 24 hours-

How am I gonna finish this. My brain is dead. So dead. I'm tired. I can't squeeze any ideas out. What am I gonna do!! ..........Calm down. I'm gonna finish this. and I will!! ):

Today started out with a nice morning. Skipped breakfast (as usual) and left for school. The day went well,  & I discovered a new place - Far East Square!!!!!! Not sure if any of you heard of this place before (or maybe I'm just too slow) but it's really beautiful there! It's just like another Clark Quay, with some really awesome looking pubs/bars and restaurants. Gonna be my next hang out place! You would never expect to see such an area at Chinatown. - I mean, everything is so vintage there, know what I mean. Like all the old shop houses, wet markets - with lots of old and delicious "kampong" food there. Check that place out ya!

AHH well, ANYWAY. ( I know I shouldn't be blogging right now, when I still have a lot of work to do.) Pearllllll (finallyyyyyy) collected her mac this afternoon, & we still had to return back to school to get some work done. School has became my (our) 2nd home. Most of our days are spent in the school, from morning till night. How I wish they have rooms for student like us to stay over. Cos going home from school is pretty tiring - given the fact that we're some what "forced" to do our work for one whole day.  Nothing physical, it's all in the head. Using too much of mental strength is as good as running 4.8km.  It actually drain unnecessary energy from our body when we go home from school (okay, bull.)


K putting to a full stop now. BYE.

DRINK oil my dear mates! 


Remember how you pat me to sleep -

In the train

2:04pm

Hello there. It's a sunny and windy day today! Seems like a good day yeah? But unfortunately I have to go to school today. Though there's no lesson (cos the lecturers arent free today) I still have to return to school to finish up my assignments. Hope I'll be able to finish most of my work today. ):

I hope people won't think I'm really upset or anything like that after reading my posts. Cos I'm a lot more optimistic than you think I am. I like the way I am now and I'm gonna stay like this. I'm not gonna change for anyone. I fall but I know how to pick myself up. Well anyway, I've been thinking a lot. Though I have a change of mind some times, but I know it's a good thing that things are going this way. It's funny how people would rather be hurt than to be happy with something else - if they were given a choice.

I realized I have a couple of blogs that were on the "private" mode. Maybe it's just me. I don't like to share about my life, my thoughts. But I guess it's fine having to post these entries up to the public. Cos I believe all my entries are pretty vague. K, whatever.

Just to clarify. Im not upset, things are going well for me. So I hope my dear friends will believe this fact and stay like this. Thanks for all the concerns. I'm really doing well (:
I've been doing well because of all of you. I'm glad to have all of you there for me.

Well, I've finally reached my destination. And I'm going to help my friend check out the place where she's gonna hold her wedding! So happy for her! She's 25 already, she should get married already. Well, I shall take my leave now! Have a great day everyone!

You too sushi! Call me when you're back from Bintan! <3

Chips and Coffee

3:28am

Few nights ago, I was blogging about some thing, and did not post it up. I decided not to. Maybe when the time comes, I will.

Past few days has been pretty good, and busy. Things are getting better. Just that there were still times when I break down. But those times are minimal. I start to feel lost in my own emotions. I don't know what exactly was I upset about. I don't know why exactly did I break down for. But then again, it's alright. I'll get by, somehow.

Anyway, I've still have a lot work to do. I'm working on it, and hope I'll get it done before the deadline. And I'll make sure I'll do well..... It's not about "doing your work" - It's about getting into the right mood, so your ideas will start coming in right? Yes, right. Forcing yourself, won't get you anywhere...

-----

I think life's a little too amazing some times. Life likes confusing you. Giving you hope and then mess up your emotions cos you realised you had been fooled by life - some times. Yet on the other hand, it can give you plenty of happiness. (But rip everything away instantly some times) - Maybe because life realised you're having too much of happiness and decided to take everything away, just so you can get a taste of bitterness. How mean.

Lately, I've been meeting people by coincident everywhere I go. & wherever I am at. And I always receive something after these meetings. Pure coincidence or was it fate? And every time after this sort of thing, I'll start to contemplate whether I should remain. I had my mind set. But I got myself confused again.


I'll see you someday, back home.

Goodnight.


(I wanna have bread and pudding dessert now!)

11:31pm

Just got back from school, and I've been extremely tired the whole day. Felt so sluggish the whole day. I should learn to sleep earlier, especially when school starts.

I've finally finalized my "book cover" design. Gonna get it done on Illustrator and get it print by like this week or something. Same goes to my ISP. So overall, I'm kinda left with the troublesome ones. 2 more to go!

8:33am - the following morning.

I realised I fell asleep while typing this post. I woke up early, so early, cos I have some things to deal with before going to school. I'm feeling extremely tired now, and pray that I'll be able to get my sketches done today before I send them for printing. I swear this week's gonna be really busy and rush for me. I can't wait for submission, and I'll be free again! Well, hope it all goes well for me today! (Cross fingers)

& I really need some coffee.

"& I wanna celebrate with you more of todays in years to come. " - To my Dad.

Ranting.

4:04am & I'm taking a break now.

I've finally came out with 2 designs, and hopefully, with these 2 designs I'm gonna proposed, will be accepted (:

You know something? I hate it when people got this freaking mindset that, just when you are single, they think you'll move on quickly to another. Or think that you'll accept them cos "oh I'm so sad now, I need someone to give me some love, so I can move on". Please, wake up. I'm in no hurry, neither am I DESPERATE to be in one k. Or rather, I found it troublesome and annoying. Please stop talking to me about all these stupid relationships thing. It'll come if there's love. That's it, k. That's it. It will come by naturally, you don't have to search for it. You don't have to force yourself in it. So please, shut the hell up before I become hostile.

I mean, come on, what's wrong with being single? What? Or is it that, you don't love yourself enough that you need someone to love you? What's wrong with y'all? Why are y'all so in need of love? In need of being loved or love? Can't take things slow? Learn to love yourself first. Before you love others. Don't force or constantly remind people to be with you. Don't be stupid. Don't be annoying. Please. It won't make yourself any better. It'll make yourself look worse. It won't help you to get the other person either. If she tell you she doesn't want to get into a relationship now, then LISTEN. Don't understand english? Or is it you're too selfish that you're only thinking about yourself, making sure you get what you want? Don't be stupid.

Single doesn't mean it's available. It doesn't mean she's waiting for someone. It could mean she just doesn't wanna go into a relationship. GET IT? So it doesn't mean that, "oh maybe she's waiting for someone. Maybe I can help her forget her ex. I can replace her ex." Don't be naive. I'm not what you think I am.

Don't judge me, too.

Okay, angst-y. Done ranting.

k, don't mind.
Maybe I just encountered something that kinda pissed me off.
No, not pissed. I'm just irritated.

1:22AM
Sunday - Monday

How's your day everyone? Mine has been pretty awesome.

It has been really long since I last have home-cooked food. They are what you call "happiness". I had my meal at my mom's mom last Saturday, and I've never been so happy when I had them in my mouth. Ever since my Dad's mom (granny) passed away, I've been eating out. I never knew how great home-cooked food were till I lost her.

I tried to force myself to get my work started when I got home. I did. But only the research were done. I opened "Illustrator" and did not get my work started (though I did get the size and measurements prepared). Found myself entering into my dreamland at around 5am......................

Saturday (Aderyl's 21st) - It was a good one. Celebrated kewpie's birthday with her family, and friends. Great Penerakan food. I found myself consuming a little too much food lately. Maybe cos I've been happy. Happy and relaxed with life. heh. But I gotta control my diet, or I'm gonna put on weight again. I'm gonna stay at 43kg! (I think it's fine revealing my weight.. hehe).......oh I almost forgot. It's Fathers' Day.

I feel so guilty that I actually forgot about it till like... Saturday night.. But least, I got my Dad something. Something really simple. (Too simple actually, I got him an album) with a longggg message attached to it. If I've known earlier, I could have done something better. :S I'm sure he's elated noww. hehe.

"Who's Charlie? Your boyfriend???"
"Nooooo. It's the name of the singer who produced that album =.="

How did he think that far.. ? =.=

Okay, I'm so gonna mug tonight. NO MORE PROCRASTINATION. Bye humans !!!

Then again, all I wished for now,

is for my Dad to be with me all the way. 

Don't leave yet, okay. 

Love you.

Evening - 7:29pm @ Spinelli - Suntec MOCHA SPINNN!
(A very boring post. Don't bother reading this please. Skip this post.)

School was a hassle. Gotta make myself go to school just to keep my attendance perfect. I don't know what are vacation modules for when there ain't any lecture. And it freaking cost 200bucks?! For 5 days, all I did there, was hanging around for like an hour, and did some research & left the class. That's how boring it is. (Realizing that my macbook wasn't of much use; I could have done it at home instead.)

& to be honest, I haven't been really productive. Probably lost my momentum. I've been sick these 2 days, consuming lots of pills so I could stay awake and less lifeless. (Glad that I'm feeling a lot better)

***********

Friday - doesn't feel like a Friday. I woke up feeling all so heavy in the head. Dragging myself to get prepared for school, and made myself glued to the seat for at least an hour, and went to Cityhall. Got myself 2 drinks at Dessert Cup (Cherry blossom & Yuzu something with milk) while waiting for my friend. I told myself to at least finish up .. maybe 2 sketches of illustrations? But I just can't think of anything right now. (As I'm typing this entry, I realize it ain't really an entry. Very very boring =.=) So instead, I ended up waiting for my friend to do her revision, while I'm sitting here getting this entry done.

Yesterday, I received a call. A surprise call. I don't know what was I feeling. Happy? Annoyed? Disappointed? Hopeful? Rubbish yeah. It's wrong for me to have any of these emotions right now. Have I stepped forward? I believe I'm half way there. Or almost there.. I should be happy that things are over. I should be happy that I'm given so much more freedom right now, and not being tied down. So why am I still feeling confused some times? I should be happy, that I found myself back. That's why I don't wanna move on to a new one so quickly. I want time. & I need to find peace within myself first.

People of 2 different worlds can't get along. I doubted that. But now I think it makes a lot of sense. So I should stop harboring on it. Cos I don't live for anyone. I'm the lead role in my life. So why should anyone have the right to destroy it, and make me feel miserable. But still, I've gotta thank you for bringing me so much beautiful things in life. Things that I've never seen, and experience. Thanks for this experience. But it's enough. I'm happier this way. We gotta move.

Many people ask me, "Hey, what happened to you?" What happened to me??? Nothing. I'm just exhausted. But trust me, I'm doing so much better now. If you think I've changed, no, I'm still me. Just that I allowed something slightly bad in. But that does not change a person, right? How much can one change, seriously? Everything went downhill recently. I just needed something to bring myself back up. That's all. Don't read too far yeah.


I've been here all along. And I've been the only one here. But one day, I'll be gone. It'll all be to late when you realize that. 


Actually, I've moved. 

Chainsaw in my throat, and desert on my forehead.

(Trying to be artistic. FAIL. haha)

4:24am, and I'm not feeling a tad bit well at all. I just hope I would be recovered by morning.. I don't know how soon, but please, let me recover! I'm feeling really horribly sick. Especially when I had to work just now. I swear it was killing me inside.

I need to cut down on ashes.

You know the feeling, when you're sick, yet you can't sleep, suck the most. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day, and I'm praying hard that the time will pass really fast. I've got so much work in hand, and I honestly do not know where to start off. Especially with a body at like this. At this current state.

The doctor told me earlier on this afternoon that my blood pressure is abnormally low.. How could it be fixed? Every now and then, I do get giddy. Maybe more frequent these days. What's causing this problem, I don't know!

Well, I'm gonna do this post really quick. And sum everything up. IT show > 9-12June, was definitely memorable. Made new friends, and learnt many things. Though many things happened in between these days. Well, good memory to keep. I love IT show! (Except these 2 guys being an ass, trying to steal sales from me. tsk) hehe.

I'm back to school, doing vacation modules, so well... All the best to me! Please support me, mentally alright! That's it for today. Gonna go get some rest..

As soon as you realise, I've already walked away.

What do you think?

Good evening!!! How are y'all doing?

Past few days has been pretty tiring for me. Especially these 2 days. Went to work yesterday and met my friend, till like 4 plus am? I thought I could sleep when I got home. I was very tired, but was unable to sleep. Then I only slept for like 2 hours, before I head out again.

Had a long chat with my mummy when I got home, talking about my dad.  We all know, we all say, even if (touchwood) he past on, we still gotta move on with life. Still gonna go back to school, go to work, and such. Can't possibly be moaning about it for the rest of our life. But when things really happen, how strong are we able to pick ourselves up? We all know what's the right way face these things when things like this happen. But then again, no one knows how is it gonna be like. As long as he is still around, and as long as we're living, many of us .. as much as possible, wanna not think about it. Or hope for the impossible. It's the glimpse of hope that haunt us.

Well anyway, just live each day to the fullest, yeah?

So today, probably spent my day at Chua Chu Kang with sweetie. She was doing her own work, and I was looking around for something to sketch (that woman above). Pretty lousy sketch, so incomplete. I got pretty much distracted by the surroundings, then I stopped working on it. & know, I really need to watch my wallet. Need to start saving. I've been spending excess money on a new habit I got caught up with recently, and it's seriously burning my wallet. It's a necessity but not exactly a need?



Lives like candle in the wind

12:34am

I'm typing this only cos someone's bugging me. Telling me to type. I can't think of anything to type now seriously.........

Well well, celebrated my friend's birthday on Friday night and got home the next morning. and spent my saturday sleeping.  hmm, what else? NOTHING ALRDY

HAPPY? MY DEAR FRIEND?? CAN'T WAIT FOR OUR CHEESE FONDUEEEEEE ^^

∆n evening

Someone just asked me why is it so empty. So here I am, adding an entry.

Hmm, what should I say?

Well, for the past week, I've been pretty busy. Not with work, but probably.. entertainment? & I think I really need to control a bit, cos I see my health getting affected quite a bit. & well, please don't think I'm trying to escape or something like that. I just needed that.  Some times, we all get tired of quiet life isn't it?  LITERALLY quiet.. Like the never moving life. If.. you know what I mean.

Lots of liquids and ashes, damaging my body much. I can't seem to take in proper meals these days. Its like the moment I put them in my mouth, I would feel like vomiting.  ( Gotta make this entry quick, cos I gotta leave soon)

Tomorrow's gonna be my first day to work (like finally) and oh, I've signed up for my driving license recently (: Who wants to be the first to be in my car? (: okay, 2nd maybe.


Life's a bitch, so suck thumb yeah.

Warm afternoon

I found no reason for me to keep walking or building a thin line of ice that has probably broke. Let it melt, as they said. It will reform, if there's a need to.

Some times, trying doesn't save anything but will only get yourself killed. Especially when you're trying by yourself. Others have already neglected it. That shows the importance of it to them.

Good afternoon, I'm having my lunch before I go out later (: Have a great day ahead, everyone!




Let it be left broken.

A new space

Hi I'm back.

For so long I've been gone from blogging. For so long, I've not been myself. Like, myself. Or someone I'm not. I won't call it running away, maybe I just need to take a break from being myself.

& at least, I've learnt the meaning of, "who's truly there for you". People you wished would be there, will never be there. & people who're there, are people who'll never walk away from you no matter what you've become to, or what changed you. Even if it pisses you, you'll never wanna give up. Those are the ones, that are real. The rest are just lies. A heart never dies, if you're a real thing.

Don't wish, don't dream.